


My thoughts, my live, my end

by Runners



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 11:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4303170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runners/pseuds/Runners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt runs. It's become his ruotine. And he hates it. He has enough. He needs to end it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My thoughts, my live, my end

I run. I run from everything I know, but do I really know it? Do I really know who I am? I don’t remember who I was. I don’t know who I was. I _know_ who I am now. I’m a scared, little boy, who runs. Runs through the maze, trying to find a way out. Deep inside I know I’ll fail. I’ll come back like I do every day to tell them I didn’t find anything. Again. They will sight and go to do their jobs like they always do.

I run, because it’s the only thing I can do. I run, because I don’t know what else to do. I can’t do anything else, can I?

I stop. I stop, ‘couse I have enough. I stop, because this has no sense. My life has no sense. I can see it now.  
It has no sense, so maybe I should end its duration.

I climb up the wall. I don’t care I should run. I’d rather climb and I do so. I can’t stay how hopeless I am. How helpless I feel. It must end. I will end it.

I look down. I’m not afraid of high. I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of what happens in my head. I hear voices. They tell me to jump. They tell me there’s no hope. I know it. I know it and I want to jump. I want to end this madness. I don’t want to live. I don’t have anybody to live for.

I stay at the edge of the wall. I don’t want to jump. I want to live, but there’s no place for me in this hopeless world. Maybe on the other side I will find somebody who will love me. Who will care about me. A place where I stop running. Running away from every problem. Running away from real answer, because people around don’t want to hear it. Don’t want to believe in what is real.  
I know what is real. I’m not okay with it. None of us deserved what we were given. We deserve much better. We deserve something we won’t find there.  
Maybe it’s on the other side. Maybe they wait here for us. For me. I need to know. I need to know it now.

I jump.


End file.
